The Only Hope for
the World is for Us to Change It.
We change
the world best by changing ourselves for the better. If
everyone had the same ambition to change just themselves, the world
would quickly become transformed into a veritable Paradise.
There is much in the world to be
discouraged about. Sometimes it seems that the humanity of the human
race hasn't progressed very much. The same problems remain, some more
and some less. People become discouraged and numb to their situation.
They remain static, stymied, and without hope that their mere efforts
could have much effect on the world. Thus, they tend to do nothing
more than what benefits them. Change is what everyone wants so long as
isn't them who is doing the changing.
There is only one thing that all people
everywhere can do to change the world and that is to change
themselves. People can change what they know and what they do. To do
more, people must become more. To become more, people must become
more.
Although knowing is important, most
people don't use but a tiny fraction of what they already know. Given
a choice of knowing more or using what one already knows, I would
choose to do more with what I already know. Using what one already has
is something that we can do now. So, if you want to see a real change,
just starting doing more of what you already know you should be doing.
Not Enough Time?
We may want to do it all, but time limits
what we can do. So, when you don't get everything done that you
planned, whose fault is it? It is a case of insufficient time or
insufficient planning or something else? When you don't have time to
do everything on your 'to do' list, it simply means that you lacked
reality and focus. First, your good intentions lacked reality, because
there are only so many discretionary hours in a day, and each activity
take time to complete. It's basic math, you can only put five pounds
of stuff into a five pound bag. Second, your good intentions lacked
focus, if the important things didn't get done. You should always do
the most important things first. The more important the activity, the
closer to the top of this list or schedule they belong. As a
rule, always do the most important thing first.
So, if you don't have enough time, then what you really have is a time
management problem. You are either trying to do to much or not putting
the most important things first or both. It is most important to do
the most important things first. No one ever has a time problem, what
they have is a motivation problem. If something doesn't get done, it
is simply because there were more important things that took priority.
Look at how you spend your time, because it reveals what is important
to you. The things you do are considered important, and the things you
don't do are considered unimportant. Not spending enough time with the
family? What is that lack of attention saying about your family's
importance to you. You get to decide how you spend your time. So, if
you don't like how you are spending your time, then you need to make
some priority changes.
Happiness in the
Balance
Whatever your state of happiness right
now, it is defined by the balance of all positive and negative forces
pushing against each other. If the negative forces get the upper hand,
then your level of happiness goes down as your negative emotions goes
up. Likewise, if there is a net increase in positive forces pushing
against the same level of negative forces, which are restraining
happiness, then one's level of happiness will rise to higher levels.
The simple secret to happiness is to create as many positive forces in
your life, while at the same time, eliminating as many negative forces
as possible. What is most interesting about this happiness model is
that whether a force (an event) is negative or positive is subject to
interpretation...your interpretation. For example, suppose an event
happens to you that seems on first thought to be something you don't
like. Perhaps the boss asked you stay late to get a rush job
completed, and you already had plans for the evening. If your positive
and negative factors determining your happiness were in balance, then
this extra addition of a negative event will push your happiness
downward to lower levels...unless you stop it.
How you interpret events is subject to your control. You can rewrite
your initial interpretations of negative events, once you realize that
you are just adding a negative force to the balance of happiness. In
other words, your interpretations are all in your head, and you have
the power to reverse them. You can choose to neutralize what you at
first considered an adverse event, and/or you can find some new
positive forces to counteract it. You might challenge your initial
negative interpretation by framing the event as just a temporary
inconvenience that slightly delays you plans. You decide that you are
earning 'bonus' points with the boss for you willingness to go beyond
the call of duty. You could decide to reset your evening by setting
your plans back by a couple of hours. You might even add a few more
enjoyable activities to make up for it, perhaps a glass of wine at
dinner or a special dessert.
What you don't want to do is to allow negative events to control your
happiness when you have the power to stop it. Just take control of
your thinking, and you can boost the positive factors in your life,
weaken the negative ones, and move your level of happiness upward to
ever higher levels.
Self-Control
Everyone wants self-control...to do the
right things, but self-control is hard, because it means we must give
up instant gratification. And who wants to do that? Self-control is
least successful when it relies solely upon self-discipline as the
means of control. I often repeat this quote, "I can resist
everything except temptation", meaning that when I want
something, it is too hard to resist the urge. The more I think about
the object of my desire, the more I want it and the more temped I am
to allow myself to have it. Self-discipline fails me too often, so I
can't rely on my more noble nature to resist my own temptations. My
church pastor claims that "Sin cannot be self-manged." So,
what is a person to do?
Here is the secret. Self-control is a
will-power issue but rather a decision-making issue. You must decide
in advance what temptations to say no to.
Once the decision to spur a temptation has been made, the next
decision is to ignore the urges. If you allow yourself to think about
your temptation, the urge only grows stronger. You can only defeat
temptation by refusing to think about it, because thinking is a form
of attraction. "We become what we think about." So, part of
the pre-determined
decision is to have something else to think about when temptation
strikes. The key to successfully resisting temptation is to shift your
focus to something else until the urge passes...and it will, sooner if
you don't think about it. Decide in advance what you will think about
for every specific form of temptation that possesses you. If food is
your temptation, then pre-determine
to think about a slender body, stepping on a weight scale, and a
needle rising slowly to an ideal weight. Continue to hold this thought
until the urge passes. Then, go back to what you were doing. Every
time the urge reappears, and it will, refocus on the same alternative
thought.
So, the key to self-control is pre-determining
to focus on something else when the urge strikes, which is the
long-term goal you want for yourself and what you shall have if you
don't give into temptation.
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Website last updated on 5/13/2009
Copyright ©2005 Charles W. Sooter. All rights reserved.
