Self-Management Tools

Self-Management Tools - World View

Everyone has a worldview that explains how the world works, their role in that world, and what they have to do to impact their world. Some worldviews are fallacious and toxic to the detriment of both the individual and the world. These individuals haves built their character foundation on mistaken notions. They are likely to be unhappy, distressed people who cannot get along in the world and operate at discord with every one and everything in it.

Some worldviews are accurate and nurturing to the pleasure of both the individual and the world. These individuals have correctly learned to perceive the world in ways that allow them to live in harmony and achieve success in reaching their goals and realizing their potential.

Behind most dysfunctional behavior and chronically unhappy people is a common fault - an acquired world-view that causes them to think, behave, and live under environmental conditions that cause the very troubles that cause their distress. To change one's thinking, behavior, or the environmental conditions under which they live would not permanently solve their psychological problems. Only by going to the root cause, the person's misperceived world-view, and changing it to better conform to reality can any lasting change be instituted. If this was easy, the psychiatric wards would be empty. Changing a person's world-view is most assuredly no easy task. The primary purpose of long-term therapy is to take on this Herculean task and do exactly that - fundamentally maturing the patient's world-view. Whatever the person's character deficiency, it is the psychologist's job to heal it. If therapy is successful, the patient emerges with a profound change in their world-view. Their thinking, behaving, and their way of living changes radically as well, but it all flows from a change in world-view.

In essence, a healthy world-view is one that has these basic tenants that are essential if the individual is to grow into a highly functioning person:

The life is good, the world is good, and the people in the world are fundamentally good.
The world is a safe place to live. Risks can be avoided with prudent caution.
The world/nature is fair or at least neutral; it is neither for or against anyone.
The world has abundant resources, and scarcity is a rarity.
One can get X (love for example), if they give X (love).
There is nothing you can do that can't be done (Beatles' tune "Love")
Each person is responsible for their own care and feeding. No one will care for them as much as they will.
Whatever a person truly wants and needs, they can work to get it. Probability of success goes up with hard work and persistence. Things get done when we do them.
We only have one chance to live our life, so we had better do the best job we can with this one single opportunity.
People are the same in many ways but with lots of differences. Differences between people are a good thing, and so is variety. If everyone was the same, the world would only need one of them.
Everyone is born with hidden potential that must be discovered and developed to reach full potential.
Change is part of God's plan and is the source of new opportunities.
The best opportunities are found, like apples at the top of the tree, next to the high risks.
Risks are not to be feared but to be managed.
Everyone's purpose is the same...to become the best they can be. And it is never too late to become that person you were meant to be.
Finally, whatever good we achieve, we can always do better, because the best is yet to come.

We Could be Better

If we were born perfect and adult-like in our world view, we wouldn't need to grow and to change. We are born perfectly right for our current world view and state of maturity. And we are growing perfectly according to our genetics, the inputs/experiences we receive, and our interpretations of what those inputs mean. We have grown perfectly into who we are today, because everything happens for a reason. Despite our checkered history, our perceived defects, and our obvious limitation, we are perfect just the way we are. And as such, we need to accept ourselves just as we are. However, self-acceptance is one of the hardest gifts we can bestow upon ourselves. We seem to think that we should be someone or something other than what we are. But if we are the perfect reflection/creation of some higher power, what could we have done differently? Nothing! We responded to every life situation just as conditions and predispositions dictated that we should. Hence, we grew and became who we are. Our past is a prefect reflection of all that happened to us and our responses to what happened to us. Our lives could not have been different.

Does this mean that we should stay as we are? Absolutely not! Some of us are far from the perfection that we might reach. As long as we are alive, we have the potential to reach whatever perfect we aspire. No matter who we are, what we can do, or what we believe we can do...we could do better. Even though we are a perfect reflection of our past, our future is still open for us to shape. With some hard decisions and difficult struggles, we could become quite different that what we are now. If we want to become different, we can.

First, we must accept who we are, define what we are not, and set our sights for anything that we might aspire to. To quest for different or high levels of perfection is the inalienable right of all living creatures. Those who aspire to be more and willingly work towards it, will ultimately reach new levels of perfection. Thus, no matter what we are, have, or do, it could all be different in the future if we take actions today that will lead us in that direction. Thus, while we are perfect today and will be perfect tomorrow, we can be a different form of perfection if we but make the choice and commit to it.

Perfection

There is a form of perfection in the status quo. Whatever is...is perfection. Allow me to explain what I mean by that statement. No matter how bad a situation may seem, it is the only one what could have happened given all the prerequisites. Had a different set of conditions prevailed, then they would have produced a different circumstance. So, whatever conditions you find yourself in, they are a perfect reflection of the conditions that were present to create them. Now for the good news. Whatever your circumstance, they can be changed for the better if you can create a new set of conditions. Without a change in the prerequisite conditions, your circumstances will remain the same. To create the circumstance you prefer, you must first create the necessary perquisites. Until the necessary conditions are changed, the present circumstances will continue. What all this means is the following. First, you'd do well to accept your present circumstances, since they are a perfect fit for the conditions that created them. No point in getting upset about things you can't change immediately. Second, if you have the power to change the conditions that are responsible for your present circumstances, then you have the power to change your outcomes. Ideally, you should accept everything about your circumstances right now... as you actively work to change the prerequisites leading to a better future.

Whatever is...is perfection. Allow me to explain. No matter how bad a situation may seem, it is the only one what could have happened given all the prerequisites. Had a different set of conditions prevailed, then they would have produced a different circumstance. So, whatever conditions you find yourself in, they are a perfect reflection of the conditions that were present to create them. Now for the good news. Whatever your circumstance, they can be changed for the better if you can create a new set of conditions. Without a change in the prerequisite conditions, your circumstances will remain the same. To create the circumstance you prefer, you must first create the necessary perquisites. Until the necessary conditions are changed, the present circumstances will continue. What all this means is the following. First, you'd do well to accept your present circumstances, since they are a perfect fit for the conditions that created them. No point in getting upset about things you can't change immediately. Second, if you have the power to change the conditions that are responsible for your present circumstances, then you have the power to change your outcomes. Ideally, you should accept everything about your circumstances right now... as you actively work to change the prerequisites leading to a better future.

Do Sweat the Small Stuff
Ever hear the phrase, "don't sweat the small stuff...and everything is small stuff." A good philosophy for not getting twisted up and anxious when things don't go right. Suppose we take this thought to its extreme limit. If it's true that everything is small stuff, and we shouldn't sweat it, then what are the long-term consequences; what should we sweat?

If the big "stuff" is nothing more than an accumulation of small stuff, and we don't "sweat" the small stuff, what is to become of the big "stuff". It's the big stuff that we all crave...money, big house/car, prestigious job, fame...you name it. If we don't "sweat" it, how do we get it?

Perhaps the reverse logic is more persuasive...that we should sweat the small stuff, because that's all there is to sweat. Can we really go around sweating all the small stuff? Perhaps we could just be selective on which small stuff to sweat. We should be discriminating and focus on just the important small stuff which can make a big difference. But which ones are they? Hard to tell isn't it. So, basically, we're back to square one. We have to sweat some of the small stuff, but we don't know for sure which ones.

Suppose we were to sweat all the small stuff...not in an anxious, apprehensive way, but in a caring and concerted way. Suppose we treated everything we do as important, gave it our full attention and best effort, what would our life be like? I suspect that doing everything with excellence would result in a highly rewarding life. If if all the small stuff is done well, how can the big stuff not be a product of success. After all, the big stuff comes from the little stuff.

Can we afford the effort it takes to sweat all the small stuff? I submit that we can't afford not to. We may not have time to do as much small stuff as we would like but that portion we choose to do will become our monument.

An interesting viewpoint on mental conditioning and how it affects our functioning and happiness, check out this article http://www.alphapub.com/downloads/HOW TO SOLVE PROBLEMS AND PREVENT TROUBLE.pdf

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